STAGE 1 – (A+B)
Here we experience the first signs of memory loss.
This stage is most like a beautiful daydream.
The glory of old age and recollection.
The last of the great days.
(The Caretaker on Stage 1)
Album Cover – Stage 1
When I first saw this cover, I thought of it as a representation of the gap between who we are as people- how we perceive ourselves- and how we are perceived by the outside world.
The individual pages appear to be worn, as if they degraded with age. This can be likened to much of human experience, where we find ourselves becoming more jaded and exhausted as our lives continue. Connections can also be made between this piece and the early stages of dementia, as patients may find themselves grasping for information on worn, “blank paper”.
Waveforms & Song Analysis – Stage 1
Repeating melody as if someone was desperately trying to hold onto it. Becomes a bit uncomfortable as it keeps repeating. Ends very abruptly, could almost be considered a psychologically impactful ending.
An abrupt start. The melody feels somehow softer than A1; softer instruments, mainly piano. It also feels as if the static has increased in volume.
A2 has a shorter melody than A1. Memories are fleeting, realization of limited time on this earth, moving- a memory long since passed. This melody feels very bittersweet. A2 doesn’t end as abruptly as A1 did, but the transition into A3 still feels particularly surprising.
So much dissonance right off the bat. Notes sound very off-key. It is almost as if there is an impending danger nestled deep into the heart. Fear. It feels almost dream-like with the way the listener is almost drifting along with the music. The Caretaker may be trying to enjoy their last good moments. There’s a lot coming for them, and they know that, but can’t they have one more last dance in the moment? The music almost gets softer as it keeps repeating. The kind, warm feeling of this song is drifting away.
The transition to A4 is a little unnerving. A3 fades away naturally, and A4 shoots in abruptly.
Louder right off the bat. Back to the waltzing feeling. This feels as if the listener is sitting outside on a rocking chair, watching the children in their neighborhood prance along as they reminisce about old times long passed. There are bittersweet vibes, as an echoing sound fills the mind as the reminiscing continues. Cuts off very abruptly.
Begins very suddenly. It seems like A4 is going to continue before it cuts off. This track sounds like an old, untuned piano. There are frantic cut-offs in the middle of the music, and the static is much louder and more present now. It’s like someone keeps picking up the needle on a record player and places it earlier in the song. This track feels like frantically trying to remember memories that are slowly fading away. The Caretaker knows something is going on, but has no idea how to stop it. There is an immediate cutoff and transition to A6.
Softer. Melodical. Once again in that dream-like state, where the listener feels like they are floating along with the music. The static calms a bit for a second but returns at the end of the song. Longer, legato notes.
This track feels like laying on the floor staring at the ceiling, accepting your fate. This is the feeling when you stop fighting. The static is incredibly present here. The track concludes very gradually, where the music fades out and concludes with a couple long notes. Conclusion feels natural.
At the end of the track, there is this strange beeping noise that sounds almost technological. Maybe The Caretaker is visiting a hospital or hooked up to a machine?
The static picks up even more, making the music sound muffled as a result. A repeated melody again. It reminds me of someone having a breakdown, repeating the same phrase over and over in their mind to try and comfort themself.
This melody is very short and repetitive. Feels out of tune, but still… right somehow. As if the tuning was intentional.
You know what’s coming, and you choose to embrace it. Memories of dancing in the wintertime in front of a warm fireplace. You have loving company beside you. Things won’t be okay, but maybe they will for your loved ones.
The ending is an echo of the music, where everything else fades away. “What’s happening?”
This song feels like the cold. The static reminds me of an old gaming system, and the music is the game’s soundtrack. Flowers are wilting, but you remember how good of a time you had planting them. The leaves are falling.
This is a short, repeated melody. You’re sitting still, wistfully staring out a window. You cannot have coherent thoughts past simple observations. Resigned to your oblivion.
“The leaves are brown. The sky is white. The clouds… the clouds… the clouds…”
Like a broken record.
The ending is fairly natural, as the track simply cuts out and makes way for the next one in silence.
Back to the waltzing daydream, but something’s wrong. Instruments that were once comforting and familiar now seem cold and heartless. This feels like if dissociation were turned into a music track. There’s a lot going on in your mind, and all you can do is resign yourself to feeling and experiencing these things.
It stops and starts again abruptly in the middle, as if there was a distraction or a sudden fade in consciousness.
You can see someone dancing, but who are they? What is going on? Is it your fault that you can’t remember?
Cuts off and transitions to B4 immediately.
Romantic. A gentle piano, peaceful and welcoming. Somehow, you suddenly feel like things might turn out. They won’t turn out okay, but they will end eventually and you will be at peace with the outcome. Feels like a mystery that is exciting and chilling. Reminds me of the wonder and amazement of a child as a response to Christmas music. Eager to learn, eager to look back, eager to move forward. A brief break from the horror of forgetting.
Even so, there is a knot in your stomach. This peace will not last forever.
And it doesn’t, as there is a sudden fade out in the middle of a measure and a transition into B5.
Jazzy and fun. Slightly whimsical. The feeling of sitting down for a fancy dinner with the person that you love. There is a band playing as you talk and get to know each other. You are optimistic for the future. If things continue the way that they are, maybe you will end up okay. Enjoying each other’s company. Experiencing a genuine connection.
A flash to your future together. Maybe you’re watching a child grow up, playing games with a new puppy, or you’re curled up under a blanket with your special one watching a jazz trio on TV.
The track ends subtly, as the last few piano notes repeat back and forth and one of the instruments cuts out.
Chaos. Familiar music, but there is something very wrong with this. Things will not end up as you’d hoped. What can you do? You are helpless. You are beyond saving. Are you dying?
This music feels like the finale of an old TV show. That or a video game, congratulating you for playing and reaching the end.
Everything is wrapping up. Are you happy? Are you proud of what you’ve accomplished? Anything you didn’t get to finish before the clock finally stopped? It’s too late now.
Ends with a long pause and a silence that stretches on too long.
Stage 1 Conclusions
This stage provides a solid beginning to the project. In Stage 1, Kirby didn’t make many changes to the original tracks he sampled music from, other than a slight audio filter and the addition of a quiet static.
This stage, a wonderful daydream, serves as a precursor of what’s to come. The listener is lulled into a sense of calm and peace by the nostalgic music, but the sudden cutoffs between tracks ensure that they never get too comfortable. There is also an underlying sense of worry under the surface, as each track fluctuates in tempo and volume.
Although this music may be unsettling to a first-time listener, it is likely the most normal and calming album in the whole project.
The waveform visualization also shows that there is not a lot of dramatic variation in volume throughout the stage, although some tracks are quieter and more lengthy than others.
While the music itself can be very relaxing at times, the steadily growing static hints at the gradual decay that will occur later in the project.